# How to Bring Up ED With Your Doctor > Most men wait years before mentioning erectile dysfunction to a clinician. Here is how to make the conversation short, unembarrassing and useful — including the exact words to open with. - **Source:** ED Treatment Guides (https://www.edtreatmentguides.com/guides/talking-to-your-doctor) - **Last updated:** 2025-11-18 - **Type:** guide - **Topic:** Getting started ## Key points - Clinicians discuss this constantly. You will not be the most memorable part of their day. - Book a dedicated appointment rather than raising it as you reach for the door handle. - Open with a plain sentence. 'I'm having trouble with erections and I'd like it looked at' is enough. - Bring a medication list and a rough timeline — those two things do most of the diagnostic work. - Frame it as a health question, not just a sex question. That is medically accurate and it changes the response. ## Why men wait — and why waiting costs Surveys consistently find long delays between the onset of erectile dysfunction and seeking help — frequently years. The reasons are predictable: embarrassment, the assumption it is a normal part of ageing, the hope it will resolve, and the belief that nothing can be done. The cost of waiting is not just months of unnecessary difficulty. ED is a recognised early marker of cardiovascular disease and diabetes. The delay is not only about sex; it is about a warning signal going unread. ## Exactly what to say Overthinking the opening line is the main obstacle. Any of these will work: - "I'm having trouble getting and keeping erections, and I'd like to get it checked out." - "I've noticed a change in my erections over the past few months. I gather it can be a sign of other things." - "I'd like to talk about erectile dysfunction. It's been going on for about a year." - "This is awkward for me, but I need to raise something about sexual function." > **If saying it out loud is the barrier** > > Write it on a piece of paper and hand it over, or type it into the practice's online consultation form before you arrive. Clinicians would far rather read a note than have you leave without mentioning it. ## What to bring - [ ] A complete list of medications, including over-the-counter drugs and supplements. - [ ] Roughly when the problem started, and whether it came on suddenly or gradually. - [ ] Whether you still get erections on waking or when alone. - [ ] Any recent changes — new medication, weight change, new stress, new diagnosis. - [ ] Your family history of heart disease and diabetes. - [ ] Your [self-assessment score](https://www.edtreatmentguides.com/tools/ed-self-assessment), if you have taken it. - [ ] Any specific question you want answered before you leave. ## Questions worth asking 1. **What do you think is causing this in my case?** Pushes past a reflex prescription towards a cause. 2. **Could any of my current medications be contributing?** Frequently the answer, and frequently fixable. 3. **Should I have my cardiovascular risk assessed?** Ask explicitly if it is not offered. 4. **Should we check my testosterone?** Particularly if desire has fallen too. 5. **Which treatment would you start with, and why that one?** 6. **What should I do if it does not work?** Establishing the next step now prevents a wasted six months. 7. **Is a referral to a urologist appropriate?** > **If you are brushed off** > > 'It's just your age' is not an adequate answer at any age. You are entitled to ask for cardiovascular risk assessment and basic bloods, or to see a different clinician. Persistence here is reasonable, not demanding. ## If you would rather not do this in person Telehealth is a legitimate route and for many men it is the difference between getting treatment and getting none. It has a real limitation: a video or questionnaire consultation cannot measure your blood pressure or take your blood. A sensible compromise is to use telehealth for treatment and access, while arranging the cardiovascular and metabolic checks separately — through your primary care clinician, an employer health screen, or a pharmacy service. See our [telehealth vs in-person comparison](https://www.edtreatmentguides.com/compare/telehealth-vs-in-person) and our [service reviews](https://www.edtreatmentguides.com/reviews). ## Frequently asked questions ### Will my doctor think I am just after Viagra? Erectile dysfunction is a legitimate medical complaint with a well-defined workup. Clinicians assess it routinely. Asking for a cause as well as a prescription makes the intent obvious anyway. ### Can I ask for a male doctor? Yes, and practices accommodate this routinely. If it makes the difference between attending and not, ask. ### How long is the appointment likely to be? A standard slot is often enough for the initial conversation and to arrange tests. Book a double appointment if you have several issues to cover. ### Will it be recorded in my medical record? Yes, like any medical consultation, and that is appropriate — it forms part of your cardiovascular risk picture. Your record is confidential. ## Sources - American Urological Association. [Erectile Dysfunction: AUA Guideline](https://www.auanet.org/guidelines-and-quality/guidelines/erectile-dysfunction-(ed)-guideline) (2018) - Urology Care Foundation. [What is Erectile Dysfunction?](https://www.urologyhealth.org/urology-a-z/e/erectile-dysfunction-(ed)) - National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases. [Definition & Facts for Erectile Dysfunction](https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/urologic-diseases/erectile-dysfunction) ## Related pages - [What Happens at Your First ED Appointment](https://www.edtreatmentguides.com/guides/first-appointment) - [ED Symptoms and How It Is Diagnosed](https://www.edtreatmentguides.com/guides/symptoms-and-diagnosis) - [Free ED self-assessment](https://www.edtreatmentguides.com/tools/ed-self-assessment) - [Telehealth vs Seeing a Doctor in Person for ED](https://www.edtreatmentguides.com/compare/telehealth-vs-in-person) --- _This page is general health information, not medical advice. It cannot account for your own history, medications or risk factors. Talk to a licensed clinician before starting, stopping or changing any treatment._ _Canonical URL: https://www.edtreatmentguides.com/guides/talking-to-your-doctor — HTML for people, Markdown for agents._